Stream of Consciousness - Unmedicated version
I started this stream of consciousness almost two weeks ago. I have deleted it and restarted, because I'm in a different place. Well, sort of. I have spent the last month or so without the supports that I usually have. I've been off of my medications for a month or a month and a half, my beloved is across the country (and has been for nearly six weeks), I haven't had my own money since the middle of December (as I'm paid on an adjunct schedule), and I've had to cancel therapy for the interim due to the lack of funds. I have spent six weeks relying on friends, emotionally and financially, because I couldn't find enough odd jobs to pay my bills. Hell, I could barely find enough to put gas in my car. It's officially sunken in that I will be on medications for the rest of my life. I've quit my anti-depressant countless times before (because I'm a depressive, but I level out and I can live without it because I've learned coping skills...it's a