On Identity: Sexuality
CONTENT WARNING: mentions of childhood sexual assault (CSA) and grooming; discussion of CSA recovery; BDSM/Fetish On the surface, my sexuality was never a question. I am one of those who always had attraction to a variety of genders. Boys and girls in elementary school were equally interesting, boy and girls in middle school were equally attractive. I came out as bisexual to my closest friends in my freshman year of high school, to my family the following year. No one who knew me was surprised by my orientation. If anything, they were surprised I was so worried about telling people, as I was the kid who Didn't Care what people thought. In reality, I was terrified of having another thing that separated me from my peers. The more complicated nuances of my sexuality emerged as I was able to start recovering from my childhood. I was sexualized at a very young age, in a way that undermined all of the distinctions between sexual attraction & love (not that the US is great at maki