CopyPasta and a summary of the past few days' emotional state.

The CopyPasta: I need a snuggle buddy and a blanket fort. I shouldn't be alone tonight [context: Beloved is travelling this week], and I don't want to be around Roommate (not for the usual reasons...it's actually all of the in my own head aversion to the way certain people feel around me, and today it's extending to a lot of close friends).

I'm finding that I don't actually want to be at home, but the places that I would go have a person who fits on the above list, or is not the right feel for right now, or have way too much of their own shit, or are limited by it being a Monday night with all of the work things tomorrow.

I have so much work to do, but I can't get it done because I can't focus, but I can't actually resolve any of it. Idk what to do :(

The Summary: I've been so...disconnected. Not as far as interactions or isolation or anything like that. I just don't have it in me to internally connect to all of the things. I don't even know if I make sense. I just don't...care. I'm not dead inside, and it's not quite numb, but it's like I'm just too busy/overwhelmed/focused(?)/spoonless to even put forth the effort to be concerned about those people that aren't in my Inner Circle. I don't even know what would fix this problem. And so many of my friends are in a similarly needing support places. I really just want to be wrapped up near someone who feels soft and safe to me, not doing anything particularly active and just kinda lean on each other. But I don't want to drag people from their primaries, and I don't know if I can drive anywhere, and I don't really want to be at home, but I guess I'll just pretend to work stay lost in the internet eat ice cream and drink and curl up in a comforter and watch police procedurals. 

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