Operation: Boundary maintenance.
TL;DR: Mental housecleaning that sounds like vaguebooking, but it's mostly because there's a LOT of people involved, almost all of it about sensitive topics. This stuff has been rolling around in my head for a while. Commentary on what I expect from friends and those who I trust.
A LOT has happened over the last few months. A good portion of it has involved my friends and people who I trust.
First, I pride myself on my integrity. When I say something, I mean it, and I trust that my friends will not be hypocrites. I won't be making that assumption any more. Any accusations about cheating, corruption, nepotism, croneyism, etc will be met with shock and an open mind. Because I can't handle fighting my ass off and spending energy that I don't have to discover that people can't follow basic ethical guidelines.
Second, I DO NOT SUPPORT SEXUAL ASSAULT. I do not trust people who are actively complicit in it, nor do I have the desire to turn to people who tell people of whatever gender that they should "just get over" a sexual assault, regardless of the attackers gender. Don't tell that person that "it isn't a big deal," because I guarantee you that it is. I am not sure how direct I can be about this, but I will be certainly be talking with the assaulted to see how active they would like me to be.
Third, I will not turn to you for support if you have continually proven to me that you cannot provide the assistance that is explicitly requested, especially if that assistance is to ensure the health and safety of everyone. If you want to be more than an acquaintance, please respect my house, my pets, my friends, my family, my belongings, and me.
Fourth, I AM A DEPPRESSIVE. I have chronic depression, for which I am medicated and attend weekly therapy sessions. I have, furthermore, been in a major depressive episode since February (at the earliest). On top of, well, having a mental illness: I miscarried the day after Valentine's Day, I lost my Gran-nan in January, my primary emotional support has been travelling pretty much constantly (not a jibe, guilt-trip, etc...merely a statement of fact), I have been having pretty severe financial difficulties, I am in intense recovery for complex, long-term trauma, and all of the above are exacerbating that. This means that I will seem more flaky than usual, much more intense, and am really out of gives-a-shit. I love my friends. I wouldn't be the person that I am without you. But, if I seem to be backing away, you may want to see if you fit into these categories. If you don't, poke me and ask me what's up. Blessed Be.
First, I pride myself on my integrity. When I say something, I mean it, and I trust that my friends will not be hypocrites. I won't be making that assumption any more. Any accusations about cheating, corruption, nepotism, croneyism, etc will be met with shock and an open mind. Because I can't handle fighting my ass off and spending energy that I don't have to discover that people can't follow basic ethical guidelines.
Second, I DO NOT SUPPORT SEXUAL ASSAULT. I do not trust people who are actively complicit in it, nor do I have the desire to turn to people who tell people of whatever gender that they should "just get over" a sexual assault, regardless of the attackers gender. Don't tell that person that "it isn't a big deal," because I guarantee you that it is. I am not sure how direct I can be about this, but I will be certainly be talking with the assaulted to see how active they would like me to be.
Third, I will not turn to you for support if you have continually proven to me that you cannot provide the assistance that is explicitly requested, especially if that assistance is to ensure the health and safety of everyone. If you want to be more than an acquaintance, please respect my house, my pets, my friends, my family, my belongings, and me.
Fourth, I AM A DEPPRESSIVE. I have chronic depression, for which I am medicated and attend weekly therapy sessions. I have, furthermore, been in a major depressive episode since February (at the earliest). On top of, well, having a mental illness: I miscarried the day after Valentine's Day, I lost my Gran-nan in January, my primary emotional support has been travelling pretty much constantly (not a jibe, guilt-trip, etc...merely a statement of fact), I have been having pretty severe financial difficulties, I am in intense recovery for complex, long-term trauma, and all of the above are exacerbating that. This means that I will seem more flaky than usual, much more intense, and am really out of gives-a-shit. I love my friends. I wouldn't be the person that I am without you. But, if I seem to be backing away, you may want to see if you fit into these categories. If you don't, poke me and ask me what's up. Blessed Be.
Comments
Post a Comment